Accidentally in Love Page 5

  I went down the steps and grabbed my keys while I waited for her. We drove across town in terse silence.

  “Thanks,” she said in a quiet voice when I parked in front of her apartment.

  I grunted in response.

  She frowned but leaned over to kiss my cheek. “Do you want to come to my next prenatal appointment?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay…” she muttered meekly. “I’ll call you later.”

  She got out of the car without another word. I wasn’t sure why she sounded so sad. She was the one who rejected me.

  I watched her cross the street and climb the stone steps until she reached the porch of the duplex. She waved, but I didn’t return the gesture. I waited until she was safely inside before I banged my head on the steering wheel.

  I drove home to sleep off my anger until I had to go into the brewery. Hopefully, I could fix the fuck up that happened yesterday with the tank calibration. Allen, my right-hand brewer, had mentioned something to me previously, but I had waved him off, saying it was fine. It wasn’t fine, and now we were going to lose a lot of money because we had to dump a whole batch of beer.

  When I got to the brewery, I was my usual grouchy self all day. Someone must have told Declan I was in a shit mood because he made me take a break with him in the office.

  “Dude, what’s your problem?” he asked through a mouthful of fries.

  I picked at my food. “I asked Avery to marry me this morning.”

  He stared open-mouthed at me. “Oh.”

  “She basically told me to go fuck myself.”

  “Ohhh. Bro, all of this is coming at her fast. She just found out she’s pregnant. She’s probably scared and needs someone to support her.”

  “That’s what I was trying to do,” I argued and shoved some fries into my mouth.

  “Sure. But what are you offering her? A marriage and a home, but love? Avery’s a hopeless romantic. She wants to find her soulmate.”

  “I want to give that to her too.”

  He kicked my boot. “She doesn’t know that! She thinks you only did it out of obligation. Man, you’re really smart with brewing beers, but you’re a dumb fuck when it comes to women.”

  “Are you any better?” I snapped back.

  My brother had no room to talk. His bedroom had a revolving door because he still wasn’t over his high school girlfriend breaking his heart years ago.

  He shrugged. “Not about me right now. Give her time and show her it’s not just because of the baby.”

  “But she doesn’t want me!”

  My brother ran a hand down his clean-shaven jaw in frustration. “Nol, why did you ask her to marry you?”

  I sighed. “You know.”

  He glared. “Say it out loud.”

  “I already told you,” I growled.

  “Christ, you need to learn to talk about your feelings. Why did you ask Avery to marry you? Not because of the baby, right?”

  “No, of course, not. It’s because I love her, and I want to be worthy of her.”

  He stared at me for a long time. Declan had long accused me of being an emotionless robot. He said the only time he ever saw me show any emotion was when Kath finally left.

  “Tell her how you feel.”

  “She already rejected me.”

  He groaned and banged his head on the desk. “Bro, you’re dumb! She said no because she thinks you only asked because of the pregnancy. She has no clue how you feel about her. You have to tell her.”

  I mulled over my brother’s words, but I wasn’t sure how to do any of that. I thought I had done that when I offered Avery what she wanted more than anything. When she rejected me, it was clear she’d have my baby, but she’d never be mine.

  Chapter Seven

  AVERY

  I cut a glare at Nolan as his knee bounced up and down while we waited for my OBGYN to start my check-up.

  “Nol, stop,” I snapped.

  He gave me a sheepish look. “Sorry.”

  I gave him a tight smile. I shouldn’t have snapped at him, especially since things had been off with us since I rejected his proposal a couple of weeks ago. Gemma said he had been moodier than usual and had made one of the new guys quit on the spot yesterday. Thanksgiving was tomorrow, and Nolan despised the holidays, so he was probably just being his typical Grinch self.

  “Sorry, I’m moody,” I offered.

  He raised an eyebrow and pressed his lips to a thin line but was silent.

  “Nol—”

  I couldn’t complete my thought because Dr. Lee came into the room. She looked at Nolan first since he hadn’t been with me at the last appointment. She walked over to him and firmly shook his hand. “Hi, I’m Dr. Olivia Lee. You must be the father.”

  “Nolan MacGregor,” he said as he broke the handshake.

  “It’s good to meet you,” Dr. Lee said to him. Then she looked over at me and asked, “How are you feeling?”

  “Okay,” I lied.

  “Avs, don’t lie,” Nolan cut in. He turned to my doctor while I glared at him. “She’s been dealing with a lot of morning sickness. I got her one of those relief bands, but I’m not sure it has helped.”

  I fidgeted with the band around my wrist. Nolan had shown up at school during my free period one day to give it to me. When I expressed my surprise, he shrugged and said, ‘you were complaining,’ and then he left as quickly as he had come. That grumpy bear of a man confused me sometimes.

  My doctor wrote something down on her chart. “Okay, that’s normal, but maybe once you hit the second trimester, you’ll be out of it. If the band works, use it.”

  I nodded. I knew that, but feeling sick and tired all the time sucked. I was supposed to hit the second trimester in December, and I had been counting down the days, hoping once I hit it, I would feel better.

  She ran a couple of tests as we went through the rest of the check-up. She said everything was looking good, despite me being at high risk because of my age. Other than my morning sickness, which she thought would go away soon, she felt like we were in good shape. I wasn’t having any further complications, so she wasn’t worried.

  “Do you have any other questions for me today?” she asked.

  “Um… sex is a no, right?” Nolan asked.

  I felt myself get flushed at that. I couldn’t believe he asked that. We hadn’t had sex since we conceived the baby, but it wasn’t like we had it all that often beforehand. We only occasionally fell into bed together. I asked her that already, but I hadn’t been keen on telling Nolan her answer.

  “Nolan,” I hissed in annoyance.

  Dr. Lee tried to hide her smile. “Yes, if Avery’s feeling up to it, sex should be okay. With a partner or on her own.”

  Little did Nolan know how much I had been using my vibrator.

  “Everything looks good, you two. Have a happy Thanksgiving,” she said to us before she left.

  “Did you have to ask that?” I snapped.

  He shrugged but was tight-lipped again.

  “Nolan…”

  “Whatever. I gotta get back to the brewery. I need to hire another new guy, and we’re swamped.”

  “Hey, what are you doing for Thanksgiving, anyway?”

  “Working,” he grunted in a way that told me it was the end of the conversation.

  I frowned.

  I had hoped to ask Nolan to come to my dad’s for Thanksgiving. Maybe I’d have the courage to finally tell my family about the baby if he came with me, but he didn’t even give me the chance to ask. My sister and I were ten years apart because my mom had a couple of miscarriages in between us. I was scared of telling my dad I was pregnant on the off chance I lost the baby.

  “Okay, I’ll see you later,” I whispered in defeat.

  He nodded and then left me to get dressed by myself.

  Even though we occasionally slept together, Nolan and I had always been friends first. I knew the baby would present some challenges, but I didn’t like how grouchy he had been with me. I think I hurt his feelings when I said no to marrying him.

  I got dressed and went back to work, but I could barely concentrate. I used my lunch and free period to make the appointment, so I didn’t get a break between classes today.

  After school, when I got back to my apartment, I checked my phone for the first time and saw a string of texts. I checked the ones from my sister first.

  GEM: What did you do to Nolan??

  GEM: He’s a supreme grumpy bear today!

  I typed back a shrug emoji. Her guess was as good as mine.

  I scrolled through to the texts from the man himself.

  NOLAN: Sorry about today.

  I typed back a response. ME: S’okay.

  I saw the dots of him typing, and I set my phone down to make dinner. My phone buzzed again while I waited for the water to boil for my pasta. I picked up my phone again and saw a second message from Nolan.

  NOLAN: No, it’s not.

  ME: You’re right. It’s not. You were a dick.

  NOLAN: I’m sorry. I’m stressed, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Forgive me?

  I set my phone down on the counter and stared at the pot on the stove as I thought about how to respond to him. I knew this time of year wasn’t his favorite, and I hadn’t exactly been nice to him today, either. The stress of the baby was getting to both of us, but we needed to learn to not take it out of each other. I knew I wasn’t doing the best job at that lately, either.

  I picked my phone back up and sent him another text.

  ME: You’re forgiven.

  NOLAN: I’m here for you. For you and Peanut. Always.

  His words meant everything to me, even though I knew they weren’t quite the ones I wanted to hear. Nolan would be a good father, but I wished I could have more from him.

  “Is the bird done yet?” my dad called from the living room as I took the turkey out of the oven.

  Today was Thanksgiving, which meant my favorite time of year was quickly upon us. Once we got through today, it would be time for me to break out my mom’s recipe book and start making all my Christmas cookies. I loved the holidays, and making cookies with my mom had been a favorite pastime when I was a kid. I kept up the tradition after she passed, mainly to keep her memory alive. Someone had to continue the family traditions. God knew my sister had no interest.

  My Aunt Karen and I rolled our eyes in unison at my dad’s nagging. He had been asking that all morning. Yes, we were one of those weirdo families that ate Thanksgiving dinner at two o’clock in the afternoon.

  I opened the oven and pulled out the turkey. Aunt Karen helped me check it was done.

  Since mom died, my aunt and I tag-teamed Thanksgiving. Mainly because Dad and Gemma were useless in the kitchen. The same went for my cousin Mason and Uncle Bill.

  “Almost!” I yelled back.

  “We want to eat!” Uncle Bill called back.

  Aunt Karen shook her head. “That man, I swear.”

  I laughed and wiped the sweat from my brow. It was hot in here, and I felt nauseous.

  I was still dealing with morning sickness, which sometimes wasn’t just in the morning. The relief band Nolan bought me had helped a little. Yesterday he came over to my apartment with ginger tea that he read might help too. That had been sweet of him, and I was grateful for it. Ever since my last appointment, he had been going out of his way to atone for being such a dick to me. I still felt like things were tense between us, and I wondered if our friendship could survive this pregnancy.

  “I’m used to it. Bird looks good to me. Let’s get the table set,” I said to my aunt.

  “GEMMA! MASON!” Aunt Karen yelled to my sister and my cousin. “Come in here and help set the table.”

  I gave her a small smile. “Thanks, Aunt Karen.”

  “They’re doing the dishes tonight,” she said with a grin. She gave my hand a little squeeze. “Your mother would be so proud of you, Avery.”

  “Thanks.”

  Aunt Karen could tell I was having a hard time today, but it wasn’t for the reason she thought. She probably thought I was missing my mom. I missed my mom; I missed her every day, but that wasn’t why I was off today. It was because the smells in the kitchen were making my morning sickness worse. I hadn’t told my family I was pregnant yet, so I couldn’t even complain about it. I didn’t want to explain that I was pregnant and the father and I weren’t together.

  My sister and cousin set the table while my dad and uncle strolled in with MacGregor Brothers Brewing Company beers in both of their hands. Dad loved that Gemma worked at the brewery and we had befriended the owners. I wasn’t sure how he’d feel when I told him one of them had knocked me up.

  My Aunt said grace for everyone, and then we all dug in… except for me. I pushed my food around on my plate and had two bites of plain turkey with no gravy. Which sucked, but I didn’t want to throw up again.

  “You okay, Avery?” my aunt asked.

  I didn’t have to explain myself because my sister nearly jumped out of her chair. “Hell yes!” she cheered as she looked at her phone.

  “What’s up?” Dad asked as he gently pushed her back down in her seat. My sister could be a bit excitable.

  “We got the tree lighting ceremony.”

  “The what now?” Uncle Bill asked.

  “In Drakesville. You know how they do the tree lighting ceremony in the town square? The brewery applied for a booth this year, and they said yes.”

  “Really?” I asked.

  That might have explained why Nolan looked super stressed lately. Some of the local restaurants sold hot chocolate and cider during the ceremony. Still, I don’t remember the town ever letting any beer be sold before. I would have figured Sullivan’s, the oldest bar in town, would have gotten that deal before the brewery.

  “It was my idea,” Gemma explained. “Nolan was so grumpy about it, but Declan always likes my ideas, and he’s still handling the marketing.”

  “Nolan hates Christmas, that’s why,” I said as I tried to eat some of my potatoes.

  I loved mashed potatoes, and Aunt Karen made them so good. Mine were usually okay but had lots of lumps. Aunt Karen’s were always perfect, and it pissed me off my pregnancy wasn’t letting me enjoy all the tasty food we made together.

  “Such a Grinch,” my sister agreed with the shake of her head.

  “When is that?” Dad asked.

  “Saturday,” Gemma and I said in unison. We always went to the tree lighting ceremony together, but she was probably working if the brewery had a booth.

  “That’s kinda soon to put up the tree, isn’t it?” Aunt Karen asked.

  Gemma laughed. “Not for Avery! She usually puts her tree up after Halloween.”

  I ignored her and the rest of my family while I took out my phone and texted Nolan.

  ME: Congrats on the tree lighting ceremony.

  NOLAN: I didn’t want to do it.

  ME: You just didn’t want me to drag you to it again.

  NOLAN: I’ll see you there, tho, right?

  ME: You know it!

  I put my phone away and tried to eat more of my dinner.

  “You okay, honey?” my aunt asked.

  I nodded and gave her a fake smile. “Just tired.”

  “Don’t worry, Avs, we’ll do the clean-up,” my dad said as he took a sip of his beer. “I really like this holiday beer.”

  I was glad my dad thought I was tired from mine and Aunt Karen’s work in the kitchen today.

  “You want a beer, Avs?” my cousin Mason asked as he got up to grab another Holiday Hops from the fridge.

  “Nah, too hoppy for me,” I told him.

  Luckily, I could use that excuse because my dad didn’t have any of the MacGregor beers I liked in his fridge. Gemma got her taste for hoppy beers from him, but he usually kept some lager in the fridge for me. When we got here this morning before Aunt Karen arrived, Gemma found all of those and hid them in the extra fridge in dad’s garage.

  “It’s so good!” Gemma argued. “Avs is such a basic bitch.”

  We shared a conspiratorial look, but no one noticed when she and Mason were teasing me mercilessly. I was grateful she hid those beers, and I’d rather endure the teasing than have to admit to the rest of my family the real reason I wasn’t drinking.

  After dinner, I scraped my food into the garbage disposal, which didn’t go unnoticed by my aunt. “You sure you’re okay?”

  “Yeah, just exhausted. School has been busy lately.”

  She peered at me and studied my face. “You sure that’s it?”

  I nodded.

  She squeezed my arm. “Okay, Avery, but you know you can talk to me, right?”

  “I know. Thanks, Aunt Karen.”

  My sister rescued me by saying she wanted to drag me out to the mall for Black Friday shopping. I groaned, but she pressed me until I agreed. We said our goodbyes to our family, and when we got into my sister’s car, she drove me to my apartment instead. We carpooled together, but I hadn’t realized ‘Black Friday Shopping’ was a ruse.

  “What did Aunt Karen say?” Gemma asked when she parked her car outside my apartment.

  I groaned. “I think she knows I’m pregnant.”

  “You still don’t want to tell them?”

  I shook my head. “Not yet.”

  My sister flicked her pink hair behind her shoulder. “You should have invited Nolan.”

  “I tried. He’s not interested.”

  She pursed her lips. “Is that why you don’t want to tell them yet?”

  “I’m afraid of losing the baby.”

  Gemma’s face fell. “Oh, Avs. Because of what Mom went through?”

  I nodded.

  She pulled me into a big hug. “You’re not gonna lose the baby. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

  “What if I do?” I cried.

  She hugged me tighter. “The doctor said everything’s fine, right?”

  I nodded.

  “Then stop worrying! I know you’re scared because Mom went through that, but I’m here for you no matter what. Nolan’s here for you, too. Remember that.”