Accidentally in Love Read online

  I squeezed her tighter as she hugged me. “Thanks, sis.”

  “Hey, I know what will help you get your mind off of this.”

  “What?” I asked and pressed a hand against my cheek to wipe away the stray tears. My fears about miscarrying like my mom weren’t helpful when I cried at everything lately.

  Gemma clapped her hands excitedly. “Let’s watch those cheesy Hallmark movies you love so much!”

  I smiled at my sister; she knew exactly how to cheer me up. I loved Christmas, and one of my favorite things to do as the holidays got around was to melt my brain with those silly movies. Gemma teased me about how predictable they were, but I was a hopeless romantic. I loved a happily ever after.

  Gemma nudged me. “Well?”

  “You know I do!”

  “You can pay me in cookies later.”

  I shook my head at her. She knew she would get a whole batch of her favorites, no matter what. “Thanks, sis.”

  “Come on! I want to find the most ridiculous one and make fun of it!”

  I laughed and got out of the car, following her up to my apartment. Gemma was a lot of things—flighty, eccentric, and excitable—but when I needed her, she knew when to show up. It was okay if things with Nolan were off because I knew I had my sister to lean on.

  Chapter Eight

  NOLAN

  “Go get the other keg. This one’s kicked,” I barked at Gemma.

  She arched an eyebrow at me and flipped her pink hair over her shoulder, but she walked away and did what I asked without complaint.

  “Nol, you gotta stop snapping at Gem,” my brother chastised.

  I finished pouring the last beer from our current keg and handed it off to a customer. The customer gave me his money, and I placed it in the lockbox while Gemma returned with the other keg. I hadn’t expected to sell so much beer at the freaking tree lighting ceremony.

  “Is your sister coming tonight?” Declan asked Gemma when she started setting up the new keg.

  She shrugged.

  Declan elbowed me. “Get out of here.”

  Gemma hip-bumped me out of the way as she took over taking orders. I scowled and stood off to the side while looking out into the crowd gathered in the square tonight. Twenty minutes ago, the town lit up the Christmas tree, and now there was a local band playing music while the townsfolk milled about. When I looked out into the crowd, I realized I was looking for Avery.

  I spotted her in front of the tree, talking to her friend Lizzie. Her smile shone brighter than the lights behind her like she was glowing. Maybe it was the pregnancy glow, or maybe it was because every time I looked at her, my heart felt like it would burst out of my chest.

  I growled when I felt a jab in my ribs. “Go talk to her,” Declan urged.

  “You need my help,” I told him with a hard look.

  Declan gestured to Gemma and Felix, who were handling the customers while he supervised. He gave me a little shove. “Get out of here and take that grumpy attitude with you.”

  I scowled at him.

  “Go talk to Avery,” my brother insisted.

  “Why?”

  “Because she’s the only one who can get you out of that grouchy mood. Go, dude, you being all growly is driving away customers,” Gemma said as she poked my chest.

  “Fine.”

  “And don’t come back!” Declan yelled back at me.

  If there weren’t a bunch of kids around, I probably would have given him the finger while I walked off. Instead, I clenched my jaw and strode over to Avery and Lizzie. Avery jumped when I came up to her, but then her face softened when she saw it was me. Her smile split her face, and I felt my chest constrict at the sight. When she smiled at me like that, it melted my bad moods.

  “Hey, can you hold her for a second?” Lizzie asked when she noticed me and thrust her baby into my arms.

  I took the baby as Lizzie searched for something in her bag. Almost immediately, the baby pulled on my beard, and it made me laugh. I wondered what it would be like when I held my own baby. Avery’s eyes got shiny when she watched me with Lizzie’s kid. She must have been thinking the same thing.

  “Sorry!” Lizzie offered, and then she took the baby back from me. She put a pacifier in the baby’s mouth. “She’s getting fussy. I better find Wyatt and get out of here. Avery, call me later so we can plan a girls’ night.”

  Avery nodded and sipped on her hot chocolate quietly while Lizzie took off in the other direction.

  I smoothed down my beard. “Should I shave my beard?”

  Avery’s eyes widened. “Hell no!”

  A grin spread across my face. “I mean when the baby gets here.”

  She reached out a hand and rubbed her thumb across my beard. “I can’t picture you without this. It would look… wrong. I want Peanut to know their bearded daddy.”

  “Okay… I’ll keep it, but only for you.”

  She gave me a tight smile.

  It wasn’t lost on me that things between us were awkward. Since she rejected my proposal, I was trying to show her I was here for her, not just the baby. I wasn’t doing a good job because I was a dick to her at our last check-up. I was stressed about the brewery and money, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on her. She didn’t need the extra stress.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked.

  She frowned. “Tired.”

  I noticed she wasn’t wearing the morning sickness band anymore. “No more morning sickness?”

  “I don’t want to say it’s passed yet, but I’ve been feeling okay.”

  I pulled out my phone and checked my calendar app. “We’re not quite in the second trimester yet, but soon.”

  She beamed at that. “Why, Nolan MacGregor, are you keeping track?”

  I nodded. “I told you, I want to be there for you and Peanut. Are you gonna hang out here much longer?”

  She shook her head. “I think I want to head home.”

  “Oh,” I said and hoped she didn’t hear the hint of disappointment in my voice.

  “I kinda want to cozy up on the couch and watch Christmas movies.”

  “Okay, I’ll walk you.”

  She made a face. “Nolan, we live in Drakesville. I’m perfectly safe walking home alone.”

  “Avery, it’s still a couple of blocks away, and it’s dark out,” I growled.

  “I walk home by myself all the time.”

  I scrubbed a hand down my face in frustration. “Appease me, okay?”

  “Fine,” she spat, and she walked off to toss her empty hot chocolate cup into the trash. She didn’t wait for me as she sped off down the street.

  I caught up to her, and we walked the couple blocks to her apartment in terse silence. When we got to her apartment, I stopped in front of the steps leading up to the porch. I wanted to make sure she got home all right, but I didn’t think she was going to invite me in.

  She peered up at me with a guilty look. “Sorry, I’m moody.”

  I put a hand on her stomach. “Avs, it’s all good. I told you, I’m here for you.”

  She squinted up at me. “Do you want to come inside? Or do you have to get back to the brewery?”

  I scowled. “Declan dismissed me.”

  “Was your grumpy bear face scaring away customers?” she teased with a laugh.

  “Yes,” I gritted out between clenched teeth.

  “Are you too moody to come upstairs and hang out with me?”

  “You want company?”

  She nodded and looked down at her feet. “But I want to watch cheesy Christmas movies. I know you hate that, so you don’t have to come in.”

  “If that’s what you want, we can do that.”

  Her face lit up, and her smile was brighter than any bulb on any Christmas tree. “Really? You’d do that?”

  I groaned but nodded. I would suffer through those dumb movies for her. I would have done anything she asked me to if only to be with her.

  She grabbed my hand and led me upstairs into her apartment. I helped her take her coat off and hung it on the back of one of her kitchen chairs. She went into her bedroom to get dressed into something comfy.

  I went into her living room, kicked off my boots, and I sat back on her futon. Her uncomfortable futon. More and more, I was uneasy about this arrangement. I wanted more for Avery and the baby, and I certainly didn’t want them living in this cramped space. I didn’t like that her stairs didn’t have a railing either. I worried about her falling. What if something happened to the baby?

  Avery walked back into the living room wearing a pair of Christmas-themed leggings that made her ass look fantastic and a matching long-sleeved top. The shirt clung tight across her middle, showing off the bump of our baby growing inside her. She was starting to show a little more, but only if you were really paying attention. She had been wearing clothes to hide it, but tonight, I saw the evidence of the life we created together. My inner caveman beat at his chest because that was my baby.

  She situated herself beside me on the futon and pulled a blanket around her legs. I put one arm around the back of the futon and laid my other hand on her stomach. I didn’t think we could feel the baby yet, but I ached for that connection with my child. Avery didn’t know how much I wanted to be a father. Sure, raising my kid brother had been hard, but I always wanted a family of my own.

  “Thanks for hanging out with me tonight. Being pregnant makes me boring. I mostly sit on my ass anymore,” she said.

  She put the rest of the blanket over my lap, and she pressed herself into my side. It was nice cuddling on her futon with her, but it made my heart get big, stupid ideas. It made me imagine we were an actual couple cuddling up together for a night-in.

  “Tell me about this ridiculous movie you’re making me watch.”

  I felt her laugh against my chest. “You really want to watch this with me?”

  I rubbed my hand over her belly. “I’m here for you, and if that means watching some cheesy movie, I’ll do that for you.”

  She looked up at me with that bright smile that made my chest constrict. “Really?”

  I nodded.

  She paused the movie before we got past the credits. “Okay, it’s like the parent trap.”

  I raised an eyebrow.

  “She looks like this Princess, and the Princess wants to enjoy being a normal person for a day. So they do the whole switcheroo thing.”

  I groaned. “Avs, this sounds so dumb!”

  She pinched my side. “Appease your baby mama, ya Grinch!”

  I turned and smiled at her. “Okay, Avs, for you.”

  Her face lit up with that beautiful smile again as she pressed play. When she smiled at me, I wanted nothing more than to keep it on her face. To do everything in my power to make her happy. I’d give her the world if I could.

  “Why haven’t you put your tree up yet?” I asked when I noticed her apartment wasn’t decorated yet. Avery usually started her decorating the day after Thanksgiving. It was now two days after Thanksgiving, and it wasn’t like her to be behind schedule. Especially since last year, she had it up before Halloween.

  She shrugged. “Eh. Incubating this baby made me too tired to do it yet. I’ll get to it.”

  “I’ll help if you want.”

  “Okay,” she whispered as she laid her head against my shoulder and glued her eyes to the TV.

  “I’m serious. You love Christmas. Let me help you set it up.”

  “Thanks, Nolan. I appreciate it. I’ve just been too tired.”

  I kissed the top of her head. “I’m here for whatever you need.”

  “I haven’t even started making my Christmas cookies yet.”

  “What? Woman, you’re behind!”

  She laughed. “I know, but I’ve been exhausted.”

  We cuddled together on her shitty futon for twenty minutes before I realized she had fallen asleep.

  “Avs, come on,” I whispered.

  “Hmm?” she asked sleepily.

  “You want to go to bed? You fell asleep.”

  “Oh, no! I’m so tired, Nol.”

  “It’s okay, you gotta rest for Peanut.”

  I stood up and offered her my hand to help her up. She took it, and I walked her back into her bedroom. I watched her get into the bed, and she glanced up at me with hopeful eyes. “Nolan?”

  “Yeah, Avs?”

  She bit her lip, and there was a downcast sadness in them I hadn’t noticed before. “Will you stay here tonight?”

  “You want me to?” I asked. I was more than surprised by her request.

  She nodded and laid her head against her pillow. I stripped down to my boxers and slid into the other side of her bed.

  “Nolan?” she asked. She turned to look at me with those bright blue eyes of hers.

  “What do you need?”

  She shook her head. “I’m glad it was you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She yawned. “You’re gonna be a wonderful daddy. I can’t wait to see you hold Peanut in your arms.”

  I felt the corner of my lips upturn into a smile, and I rested my hand on her stomach. “I can’t wait to meet Peanut.”

  She nodded and closed her eyes again. I pressed a kiss to her forehead, and we fell asleep together.

  In the morning, I left without saying goodbye. She wouldn’t have remembered her moment of weakness when she asked me to stay over. It had been nice holding her in my arms as we slept, but I couldn’t entertain the fantasy. Avery didn’t want me that way, but I would take whatever morsel of attention I got from her. Even if it pained me later.

  Chapter Nine

  AVERY

  After weeks of enduring morning sickness, I finally felt much better. I had a couple more days before I officially hit the second trimester. Nolan was the most supportive non-partner I could have asked for. We hadn’t spoken again about the morning he asked me to marry him. Or about how he stayed over last weekend because I wanted the comfort of his big body beside me in my bed. When he was gone the next morning without so much as a ‘goodbye,’ I had to admit it stung.

  Sometimes I caught him staring at me, and I didn’t recognize the look in his brown eyes. It looked a lot like love, but I was pretty sure that was for the baby. I may love the man who would give me my first child, but I knew he didn’t want to settle down.

  Outside of our siblings, I hadn’t told anyone else I was pregnant yet. My dad still didn’t know, despite that my sister kept nagging me to tell him already. I was thirty-five and pregnant, and I was too scared to tell my dad.

  “Seriously, did you do something different to your hair?” Helen, one of the other English teachers, asked me after the faculty meeting. She pushed her waist-length box braids over her shoulder. A suspicious look came across her dark complexion as she peered at me.

  I unconsciously rested a hand on my stomach as I thought about my answer.

  Helen’s dark eyes widened as she noticed my hand on my stomach. I had been wearing flowy dresses and blouses lately to hide the pregnancy, but it was harder to conceal. One of the older male teachers had asked me if I was pregnant the other day. Even though that was really rude, I couldn’t hide it much longer. Especially since come Monday, I would officially hit the second trimester.

  “Oh my god! Are you pregnant?” Helen shrieked.

  I nodded.

  “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone. Wait, did you do one of those sperm donor things?”

  It didn’t surprise me she asked that. When I bemoaned all the terrible dates I had gone on and how much I wanted a family, she told me I didn’t need a man to do that anymore. Props to women who did the single mom thing, but I always wanted the devoted husband to go with the family I dreamed of.

  I shook my head with a laugh as we walked out of the school building and down the street. “No. Just forgot to wrap it up. The father’s a good friend.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Wait… who?”

  I put a finger to my lips.

  Helen’s husband Allen was Nolan’s right hand at the brewery, so I was a bit surprised she didn’t know. Although Allen was the type of guy who kept things close to the vest.

  “Why is it a secret?” she asked.

  I glared. “Because we live in a gossipy small town.” I peered across the street and saw my sister sitting on my front porch. “I gotta go. My baby sis is waiting for me.”

  “It’s Nolan MacGregor, isn’t it?”

  I gave her a shocked look.

  She waved me away with her hand. “Girl! You two eye-fuck each other all the time. It took me like two seconds to figure it out.”

  I cringed.

  “Good for you. I didn’t realize you liked them thick.”

  I grinned. “And bearded.”

  She laughed and hugged me. “Well, congrats! You and Nolan will have the most ridiculously cute baby. He’s so hot.”

  “Helen! You’re married.”

  She laughed. “Yeah, but I got eyes. Plus, I do like a bigger guy.”

  That was true. Allen had a similar build to Nolan. I think he might be taller than Nolan, too.

  “Say hi to him for me. I gotta go,” she said.

  Helen got into her car and waved goodbye to me. I walked across the street and up the steps to the porch where my sister sat. Gemma greeted me with a big hug.

  In all the stress with this surprise pregnancy, my sister had been the shoulder I leaned on the most. Even though I was having a baby with Nolan, who was such a supportive baby daddy, I didn’t want to rely on him too much. I didn’t want to continue to confuse my feelings.

  I keyed into my apartment, and we walked up the steps inside. I took a load off in one of my kitchen chairs and rubbed my stomach.

  My sister frowned at me while she looked around. “You haven’t put your tree up yet.”

  That was unusual for me. I hadn’t even taken the box of decorations out of the living room closet yet. Usually, my apartment looked like Christmas had blown up in it by now. I wasn’t sure I felt like putting up my tree this year. Pregnancy was exhausting.