Accidentally in Love Read online

  She laughed. “Yes, but be aware of any pain. You can always readjust if something is uncomfortable.”

  “Okay.”

  “Make sure you take your prenatal vitamins and lean on the baby’s father. Let him be your support system. Even if you aren’t together.”

  I chewed on my lip. It had been a couple of days since I told Nolan about the baby. I’d been a little abrupt with him when I told him to leave. After he left my apartment, I felt like such a bitch, but I was so nauseous I just wanted him to go away. He was trying to be there for me, and I was cold and callous to him. That wasn’t fair of me. I hoped I hadn’t hurt his feelings, but maybe I should have asked him to come to this appointment with me.

  Doctor Lee handed me a printout, and I took the grainy photo of the early sonogram from her. When I looked at the image, my heart climbed up into my throat. That tiny bean was growing inside me. Nolan and I had made this little life together.

  “Oh…” I sighed as I looked at the image in my hands.

  Doctor Lee smiled at me again and squeezed my hand. “You’re gonna do great. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  I left the office, and my heart felt like it was going to burst. I drove back to my tiny apartment and realized I was exhausted and hungry. I cut out of school early to get a later appointment, and now I was too tired to make dinner. I got out of my car, and instead of going upstairs, I made the short walk over to the brewery.

  The brewery was probably the coolest place in Drakesville. It used to be an old Rolls Royce showroom bought by another brewery before Nolan and Declan bought it. The old owners spent all their money on decor and ended up going under. When the MacGregor Brothers bought it, they didn’t have to do a lot of remodeling. There was already a bar, bathrooms, and a place for Nolan to brew beer. He just had to bring in his own equipment. At first, they only had beer, but they turned it into a fully functioning brewpub with a full kitchen over the past couple of years. It was my favorite place in town, and all my favorite people worked there.

  I spied my sister’s pink hair behind the bar when I walked inside. My sister and I couldn’t be more different. Where I was petite with dark hair, Gemma was tall and lanky and had been dying her hair bright pink since she was a teenager. She had a sleeve tattoo of black and grey flowers down one of her arms, so paired with the bright hair, she stood out.

  I walked over to the bar and sat down on a barstool. Gemma gave me a brief wave while she poured beers for a group of rowdy co-eds. One of the other bartenders, Felix, came over and dropped a coaster in front of me. Felix had that edgy tattooed bad boy look about him, but he was a total softie. And also a huge flirt.

  He leaned on the bar, and Gemma made an annoyed face behind his back. For whatever reason, my sister and Felix didn’t get along, and I didn’t know why. Any time I pressed her, she changed the subject. I’d get it out of her one day.

  “Hey, Avs, you want that new pumpkin beer?” Felix asked and gave me a wink.

  “No,” I said with a frown. I really wished I could have enjoyed more of that beer before its creator knocked me up. “Can I get a water and a menu? I’m so hungry.”

  His eyebrow quirked up in confusion. “No beer? But Nolan made that one specifically for you.”

  I wrinkled my nose. I didn’t think that was true. Nolan liked to experiment with different beers. My liking pumpkin beers was just an excuse for him to make one.

  Gemma came over to us and shot Felix a glare. “Felix, fuck off. I need to talk to my sister.”

  He held up his hands in surrender. “Touchy, touchy.”

  Gemma nodded her head at the two women seated at the other end of the bar. “Go help those two. I got this.”

  He winked at her sardonically and walked to the other end of the bar. Gemma plunked a water down in front of me and handed me a menu.

  I perused it with a groan. “I don’t think I can eat any of this stuff.”

  “Get a salad. The goat cheese one is so good!”

  “I can’t!” I cried.

  “Why not?” Gemma asked, twirling her pink hair around her finger.

  “No soft cheeses! Or sushi. Or fish at all. Or deli meat.”

  “No hoagies?” Gemma asked in shock. “Remind me to never get pregnant.”

  “Zero out of ten, do not recommend,” I said. I scanned the menu again. “Can I get the burger, but make sure it’s well done?”

  Gemma smiled at me. “You got it.”

  I watched her put my order into the system, and my eyes scanned up to the TV screen above my head. The hockey game was on, and the Bulldogs were getting creamed by New York. Our mutual love for hockey might have been the reason Nolan and I became such good friends in the first place. Not liking hockey was practically against the law in my house; dad was a Bulldogs fiend.

  I checked my phone to see what time it was and realized it wasn’t late enough for me to be this tired. Incubating a baby was exhausting, and I wasn’t even that far along yet. I pulled the printout from my pocket and looked at it again.

  “You look like you’re glowing!” Declan’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.

  “Hey, Dec.”

  He nodded toward the piece of paper in my hands. “Did you show that to Nol yet?”

  “You know?” I asked.

  I hadn’t told Nolan not to tell anyone about the pregnancy, so it wasn't a shock his brother already knew.

  Declan nodded. “Nol told me the next day after you kicked him out of your apartment.”

  I cringed. Maybe I had hurt Nolan’s feelings when I dismissed him like that. Pregnancy mood swings were no joke.

  I looked down at the grainy image of our baby. “No, I haven’t shown him yet. We haven’t spoken since I told him about the baby.”

  Declan’s gaze slid over to the windowed wall on the other side of the bar. Nolan and one of the other brewers looked like they were in a heated argument.

  Declan’s whiskey brown eyes connected with mine. “Actually, seeing you might cheer him up.”

  “Cheer him up?”

  Declan sighed. “We found out the tank’s calibration was off and had to dump a whole batch.”

  “Oh, no!”

  He nodded. “Yup. Safe to say, Nol’s not in the best mood.”

  I cringed. “I’m probably the last person he wants to see then.”

  Declan gave me a funny look, but we were interrupted by Gemma cursing loudly at Felix while he laughed in her face. “Christ, those two.”

  “What’s the deal?” I asked.

  “Beats me, woman! They’re either gonna kill each other or…”

  “Or what?”

  Declan waggled his eyebrows at me.

  “Gross!” I scoffed.

  We were interrupted again when one of the food runners brought my burger. I cut into it to make sure they cooked it thoroughly and then bit into it with a low moan. Declan walked off to go break up the argument between my sister and the other bartender.

  One day Gemma would tell me why she couldn’t stand Felix. I didn’t get it because Felix was her type of man with his sleeve tattoos and piercings. Most of the women she dated looked like that, too. Felix seemed so nice; I wished she would just tell me what was up with that.

  I was cramming fries into my mouth when I turned and saw Nolan sitting next to me. His grumpy face turned up into a smile, and his broad shoulders shook with laughter as he watched me fight to swallow.

  “Hi,” I finally greeted after I wiped my mouth with a napkin.

  He ran a hand through his beard. “Hey, you. How are you feeling?”

  “Like hot garbage?”

  He frowned. “I’m sorry.”

  “S’okay. The doctor said it’s normal. Pretty sure I’ll throw this up tomorrow.”

  His brow furrowed. “You went to the doctor?”

  “Yeah? I had to make sure it was a real pregnancy. Everything looks good.” He frowned at me, so I slid the sonogram over to him. “Here.”

  He took the printout, and his face immediately transformed into a grin again. “Oh… oh. Is that our little Peanut?”

  That was growing on me. It was cute that he had a nickname for the baby already.

  I nodded.

  He placed a hand on my belly while his finger traced the tiny bean-sized figure on the image. “I would have gone with you.”

  “It was a long appointment.”

  “I want to be there.”

  “I know. You can come to the next one.”

  He beamed and kissed my temple. I froze at that. He never made any type of public display of affection with me before. It must have shocked a lot of his workers because Felix’s eyes narrowed as he watched Nolan massage the back of my neck. I melted into Nolan’s touch because I was sore and achy, and his big hands felt good on my skin.

  “Did you drive over?” he asked and handed the photo back to me.

  I slid it into my purse and shook my head. “Walked.”

  “I’ll drive you home.”

  “I can walk.”

  “I don’t want you to.”

  I rolled my eyes at his protectiveness. “Walking isn’t going to hurt the baby.”

  He grunted at me. “Just let me, okay?”

  “Stop treating me like glass. I’m pregnant, not dying.”

  “Avs, don’t be like that.”

  I motioned for my sister to give me the check. She raised an eyebrow in concern but went to get it for me. I signed the check and left her a hefty tip.

  “Avery,” Nolan tried again.

  Tears stung my eyes. I was being a bitch to him for no reason. I could blame it on my hormones, but maybe I was being unreasonable.

  I turned and looked at him, and his face crumbled when he saw my tear-stained cheeks.

  He pulled me into his arms and wiped my tears away. “I want to be involved. I want to know how the baby’s doing.”

  “The baby you don’t want.”

  He slanted his eyes at me in confusion. “When did I say that? I never said I didn’t want the baby. Stop pushing me away.”

  “I think I better go before you resent me even more.”

  “I don’t resent you.”

  “You will,” I muttered.

  He gingerly pushed my hair behind my ear and cupped my face in his hands. “I don’t resent you, okay?”

  I shook my head.

  “Avery,” he sighed. “I know we didn’t plan for Peanut, but I’m here for you and the baby. You know that, right?”

  “Okay,” I muttered.

  He shocked me when he slanted his mouth over mine, right there at the bar in front of everyone. All our kisses before had been in secret. In the shadows and behind closed doors where nobody could see. This was out in the open like he didn’t care who saw us. He kissed me slow and tenderly, and I faded into his touch like I always did. Like I always would. It was the kind of kiss that made me feel safe and warm. Made me feel loved.

  “Come to my place so we can talk?” he asked when he pulled away.

  “It’s a school night.”

  “I’ll drive you home afterward.”

  “Okay,” I conceded, and I wasn’t sure why I did.

  Maybe it was because when he kissed me, my heart wanted to pretend it meant he felt the same way I did. But my head knew better. Nolan might want me in his bed, but never in his heart.

  Chapter Six

  NOLAN

  Avery was quiet on the walk over to my house. I hated her living in that tiny upstairs apartment. It was right across the street from the school where she taught, but I had a big house all to myself. It would be the perfect place to raise our child. I needed to figure out a way to convince her to marry me and move in.

  I held the front door open for her, and she walked inside. She took off her shoes while I locked up. She looked exhausted, as evidenced by how she flopped down on my couch. I went to grab her a glass of water, but when I walked back into the living room, her eyes were closed, and she had passed out. So much for having that talk tonight.

  I bent down to carry her upstairs. She stirred. “Nolan?”

  “Yeah?”

  “What are you doing?”

  I huffed as I walked up the steps with her in my arms. “You passed out on the couch. I’m taking you upstairs to bed.”

  “Mmm. Growing a baby is tough work.”

  I smiled down at her and kicked open the bedroom door. I gently set her down on the bed. “You’re doing amazing, okay? You want to get out of these clothes? I can give you one of my shirts to sleep in.”

  “I love sleeping in your shirts. They smell like you and make me feel like you’re hugging me,” she slurred sleepily.

  Her words struck me in the chest, but I knew she didn’t mean it the way I wanted her to.

  She slid her dress pants off, and when she unbuttoned her blouse, my eyes widened at how her tits spilled out of her bra. “Don’t even think about it. They hurt so much.”

  “Aw, Avs. I’m sorry.”

  She unclipped her bra with a relieved sigh, and I went over to my dresser to pull out an old t-shirt. My 2XL t-shirt would look like a long dress on her petite frame, but I wasn’t about to let my baby mama sleep in her work clothes. I went to hand it to her, but she had already crawled underneath the covers and was fast asleep. I smiled at that; she looked good naked in my bed. I wished she could always be there, wished that I could wake up every morning to her cute sleepy smile.

  I left the t-shirt on my side of the bed and tip-toed downstairs. I sat in my living room reading the pregnancy book my brother had thrown at my head yesterday. If I was going to do right by her, I wanted to be prepared for the baby to come. The mood swings were normal. I just had to roll with the punches. Hopefully not literally.

  An hour later, I slid into bed beside Avery. She must have woken up at some point because she was now wearing my shirt. As I expected, it fell to her knees. She was such a little thing.

  She stirred and curled herself into my arms. “Nolan?”

  “Shush, go back to sleep,” I whispered and kissed the top of her head.

  “I’m so tired, Nolan. I’ve never felt this tired before.”

  I slid my hand over her stomach. “I know. Peanut needs all that energy to grow.”

  “What if I’m bad at this? What if I’m a terrible mother?”

  I tilted her chin up. “Hey, you’re gonna be a great mother.”

  “Promise?”

  I kissed her forehead. “Promise. Now go to sleep.”

  She settled into my chest, and I felt her breathing getting steady as she fell back asleep.

  Sleep was a challenge for me. I laid in bed with her curled around me and thought of my next step. I wanted to prove to her I could be worthy of her, but instead, I had given her an unplanned pregnancy and a lot of uncertainty.

  I woke with a start to the sound of someone throwing up. Immediately, I rushed into the bathroom and found Avery once again hugging the toilet and crying.

  Did pregnant people cry all the time?

  I kneeled down beside her and rubbed her back. “Shush, it’s okay, get it all out.”

  “It’s like this every morning. I hate this so much, Nol,” she sobbed over the porcelain bowl.

  I hated that. I hated that she was feeling awful because of the growing baby inside her. I didn’t know how to help her, so I rubbed her back until she finished.

  She wiped her mouth and took a swig of mouthwash.

  “You get sick every morning?” I asked.

  She nodded.

  “Avery?”

  “Yeah?” she asked while she walked back into my bedroom and started putting her clothes on.

  I tried not to stare at her tits popping out of her bra while she attempted to put it on. She might not look that pregnant yet, but her tits had definitely gotten bigger.

  “I have to ask you something, and I don’t want you to freak out.”

  She raised an eyebrow at me in confusion. “Okay…”

  “Move in here?”

  She stared at me. “What?”

  “Your apartment’s too small to raise a baby in. I have this house all to myself. We can raise the baby here, and it won’t feel cramped.”

  She rubbed her fingers between the bridge of her nose. “I know you feel you need to do right by me, but I don’t have to move in here.”

  “Why not?”

  “We’re just friends who’re having a baby together. How would we explain it when they got older? That Mommy and Daddy live together but aren’t together?”

  I sighed and went into my sock drawer and pulled out the ring. She was putting on her blouse and wasn’t paying attention until she looked down and saw me kneeling in front of her.

  “Will you marry me?” I asked.

  “Nolan…” she breathed.

  “Come on, Avery. We’re gonna have a baby. Let’s become a family too.”

  She shook her head. “We don’t have to get married because you got me pregnant.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because you told me you’d never get married again. I’m not trapping you into a loveless marriage because we made a mistake one night, and now we have to live with the consequences!”

  “Avs, please.”

  She gestured to the ring in my outstretched hand. She took it but placed the box on the nightstand. “You’re gonna be a great father, but it doesn’t mean you have to force yourself into a marriage you don’t want.”

  I’d forgotten I told her all that stuff about never wanting to get married again or how I wasn’t a settle-down kind of guy. That wasn’t true. I just didn’t think I deserved it. Until I met her. One small smile from Avery could pull me from the depths of the foulest of moods. She unearthed all those feelings I locked away after my divorce. She made me yearn for something more.

  Her saying no to my proposal was like Kath ripping my heart out all over again. It reminded me why, before Avery, I drowned myself in casual hookups.

  I stood up from my kneeling position. “You still want a ride home?”

  She nodded, and I saw the emotions swirling across her face. I didn’t know what that expression meant. I steeled myself and threw on some clothes, trying not to think about how she crushed my heart into a million pieces. It wouldn’t have been a loveless marriage for me, but I wouldn’t force her into something she didn’t want.